I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
