He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
