Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
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She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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