I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
