standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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