this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
