i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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