Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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