I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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