and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
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That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
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possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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