I can tuck mytits in my pants
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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