just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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