To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
