i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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