I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
