I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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