I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
That accounts for only three of the penises
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
