He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
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and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
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You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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