So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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