I just gift wrapped bread.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
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He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
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Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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