is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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