69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize