yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Randomize