I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
