were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize