Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
