her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
no you cant smoke seaweed
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
