I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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