i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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