Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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