Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
