So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
