I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
