How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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