Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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