I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
