The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
