Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
