It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
