He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
