therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
