I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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