Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
