am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Pants are for mortals
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He did a backflip because drugs
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
