why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.