Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it

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  (202): Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it http://tfl.nu/amxw
  Replies (6) Good night (4732) Bad night (991)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.

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  (512): You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye. http://tfl.nu/ovu6
  Replies (28) Good night (4364) Bad night (2796)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face

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  (561): I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face http://tfl.nu/knsv
  Replies (25) Good night (3666) Bad night (1977)
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us

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  (779): Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us http://tfl.nu/jk9n
  Replies (2) Good night (2319) Bad night (873)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.

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  (701): Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more. http://tfl.nu/i6gm
  Replies (7) Good night (1395) Bad night (646)
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  (+01): View more from

  I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom

  (1+01): View more from

  your the Dr. Phil in my life

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  Today is an unchanging day

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  (+01): I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom (1+01): your the Dr. Phil in my life (+01): Today is an unchanging day http://tfl.nu/6nwn
  Replies (1) Good night (1057) Bad night (521)
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  (619): View more from California

  Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it

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  (619): Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it http://tfl.nu/a0r3
  Replies (1) Good night (1127) Bad night (466)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.

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  (601): So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking? (1-601): Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity. http://tfl.nu/35ca
  Replies (2) Good night (1011) Bad night (368)
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  (+58): View more from

  Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.

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  (+58): Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother. http://tfl.nu/wull
  Replies (4) Good night (625) Bad night (366)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere

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  (717): Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere http://tfl.nu/ab4x
  Replies (0) Good night (830) Bad night (481)
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  (714): View more from California

  I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.

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  (714): I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day. http://tfl.nu/e3fy
  Replies (1) Good night (720) Bad night (360)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt

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  (972): Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt http://tfl.nu/6r1m
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (328)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.

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  (503): My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it. http://tfl.nu/tz78
  Replies (1) Good night (582) Bad night (289)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve

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  (203): I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve http://tfl.nu/dnsd
  Replies (4) Good night (271) Bad night (371)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face

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  (631): I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face http://tfl.nu/ohdn
  Replies (1) Good night (191) Bad night (242)

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