i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.