He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
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Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
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Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....