He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.