and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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