I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize