I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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