How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
