You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
