Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
