i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
My thoughts exactly.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.