Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
