I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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