To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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