I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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