No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
