Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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