I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
