my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize