no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
